


Cold Feet

by WishaDream



Series: Kaylor Short Stories [3]
Category: Kaylor - Fandom, Taylor Swift (Musician)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, College, Complete, Cuddling, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Established Relationship, F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Kissing, Love, Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, One Shot, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Questions, Requited Unrequited Love, Romance, Slow Burn, Sweet, Uncertainty, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love, kaylor - Freeform, sleep over
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:46:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24807985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WishaDream/pseuds/WishaDream
Summary: Taylor isn't sure where her relationship with Karlie stands. It's time to find out.
Relationships: Karlie Kloss/Taylor Swift
Series: Kaylor Short Stories [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1855048
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Cold Feet

I’ve just changed into my pajamas and pulled the covers down on my bed when I hear a knocking at my window.

It’s Karlie.

We’ve been friends since our freshman year of college. Now we’re juniors and everything has changed. At least for me.

“Are you going to let me inside or are you going to make me freeze out here like the poor little match girl?”

I frown as I open the window, “Karlie, don’t. You know I hate that story.”

She gives me an apologetic nod as she comes inside. She shivers as she rubs her arms. Before I can stop her she crawls into my bed, shaking beneath the covers as she tries to build up body heat.

“What are you doing here?”

“Your best friend can’t hazard a blizzard in order to come visit. Do I have to have a reason?”

I let out a tired sigh. It’s only when I start shivering that I close the window. But I don’t move any closer.

She notices as she sits up. “Come on, Tay. It’s so nice and warm here. Don’t you want to join me?”

More than I can say.

We used to lie in bed together all the time. We used to snuggle up close to keep warm. But now the thought of that makes my pulse spike.

Slowly, I step forward, shuffling as I slide one foot in front of the other in an excruciatingly slow motion. I hope to come up with an excuse for why she can’t stay or why I can’t join her. Before I can I reach the other side of the bed.

Karlie watches me the whole way, not saying a word, but giving me a strange look the whole way. Once I’m at the bed side I pull back the covers and slide inside. I make sure a pillow width is between us. Until Karlie shifts closer.

For her it’s like always, but for me everything has changed.

I pull away.

Don’t take this the wrong way, Karlie, but I think we should keep some distance between us. At least, until finals are over.

This is what I’d planned on telling her the next time I saw her. But now that she’s here, in my room, I find I have cold feet.

I let out a yelp as actual cold feet touch my leg.

“Get those off me.”

Karlie doesn’t listen as she places her frigid toes next to my leg, “I had to troop through the snow to get here to you.”

“Like I asked you,” I realize my voice is harsh as she moves away back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

“No. You did. What is going on with you?”

Like she can’t guess. But maybe it all really was just a game to her.

My heart aches at the thought.

I wish…I wish we could go back before…before things changed.

But I don’t tell her that, “I just have a lot on my plate. You know how junior year is. Just one more year then we’re done.”

And gone.

Then no more Karlie waiting outside my window playing music to wake me up. No more late nights staying up talking about everything and nothing.

“I know.” The way she says it mimics how my heart sounds whenever I think about it.

But I don’t think about it. I put it out of my mind. One more year and then I won’t have to think about how things have changed. It crept in slowly at first, before lunging at my heart. Unexpected and inconvenient all at the same time.

Isn’t that how love always is.

I can’t say it to her but now I know, I love her, my best friend. And that has changed everything between us.

I just wish we’d never…

“Taylor,” her expression is soft, filled with concern, “You are zoning out again.”

My heart flutters as I notice her smiling at me, glad to see me coming back into focus. Like I could ever not notice her. Even when I only thought of her as a friend she was the one I could always find in a crowd, even when I wasn’t trying to notice. Like now, after the incident. I don’t even try to seek her out and yet I still find her.

When she sees I’m phasing out again she brings me back with her ice toes. I cry out as I start to move away. Before I can get away she wraps her arms around me, pulling me in as I struggle to get free. We wrestle for a few moments as the blankets eventually end up on the ground. It almost feels like old times.

Almost.

Then we stop and I realize she’s on top of me, pinning my hands to the bed, as we both pant with the excursion.

I can hear my pulse pounding in my ears as her ocean blue eyes stare into mine. I’ve never felt like this before. Torn and whole all at the same time.

Does she have any idea what she’s doing to me? Does she even care?

After that night I’m starting to wonder.

When I realize we’ve been in this position for too long I start to pull away. As I do she holds tighter.

“Karlie,” my throat is tight as I feel the same ache in my chest. The ache I felt the night of the incident. When everything changed.

“Taylor?” her face is closer as I feel her breath on my skin. My whole body tingles as I shift under her. As soon as I do her legs tighten on my sides like I’ve been grabbed by a constrictor.

I know she works out, but I never expected her thighs to be this strong. She’s like a Bond villain. The first time I heard her name, Karlie Kloss, I was like, “That’s not a real person.” But Karlie is realer than any other person I’ve ever known. Except when she’s not.

Everything after the incident seems like nothing more than a dream. A dream I never want to wake from, but a dream nonetheless.

“Taylor, what’s going on with you? I’m not letting you go until you tell me.”

We know each other so well she knows just from my eyes that I’m not going to spill. And I know from her pained expression exactly what she’s thinking, “We used to tell each other everything.”

Now I can barely manage a “hi” when we pass each other in the dining hall.

“Why are you being like this?”

I wish I could tell her. I wish things could go back to how they always were. Before having her close like this made my heart skip a beat. Before looking into her eyes made my palms sweat and my mouth go dry.

If things are ever going to go back to how they used to be, before the music festival, I have to say something now.

“Have you ever felt like everything you do is wrong? That you can’t be normal no matter how hard you try?”

Her hands let go as she leans back. As soon as I’m free I sit up and star to pull my body free of her legs.

“You try to act normal, but for some reason you can’t remember how,” I stop as the strain in her voice gives me pause, “And trying to be normal, to act like things aren’t different, just makes it worse. Every time you are around them you wish you could say the things going through your mind. But each time you start you stop yourself and end up making some lame excuse. Because you dread how they will react if they know. Then things will change for them too and you don’t want to lose risk them. They are your whole world. You didn’t know until you looked into their eyes and realized you wanted to stay like that forever. And as soon as you did you knew things had changed and you couldn’t go back. But things have been changing for a while. Like a boulder going downhill, you can’t do anything to stop it, you just watch it roll and hope it doesn’t smash everything you hold dear.”

That’s how I’ve felt since that night when one moment changed everything for me. Now it’s like I’m not even a player in my life anymore. I’m just watching things play out and wishing for the best.

But I’m not yet ready for that boulder to hit things.

“I haven’t been feeling so great since the concert. I think I’m coming down with something,” I clear my throat, trying to make it sound like the beginnings of a cough, “You should probably go before I infect you.”

But she’s not fooled as she says, “I can tell when you are lying. Now the truth, before I make you regret coming here.”

“You mean to my room? You are the one that came here.”

And I am regretting her coming. Only because I don’t know how to be me anymore. How to be us. What even are we anymore?

Ever since the night when my whole world changed with those life altering words.

I realize Karlie is at my sound system only after she’s pressed play.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m having a redo.”

My stomach tightens as I realize she’s playing the song from that night. The night when the music was so loud we could barely hear one another. She said something and I let her know I hadn’t heard. Just as she said it again a pair of jocks ran into the speaker system knocking out the music. Everyone in the room heard her along with me.

She holds out her hands to me as her eyes beg me to come to her.

I shake my head but she takes my hands and pulls me up from the bed. Keeping a hold of me she spins me around in time with the music before pulling me back.

“I’m sorry I got cold feet.”

I can’t even dance with her without my heart fluttering.

“You trekked through a blizzard, what do you expect?”

“I don’t mean tonight, I mean at the concert. It was stupid of me to think that would be a good time to do it, but I thought maybe I could just say it and you wouldn’t hear me and that could be the end of it. But when you said you didn’t hear I found myself saying it again.”

We’ve stopped moving. I don’t notice until she pulls back.

My heart drops.

“You said it was a joke. You weren’t serious.”

“I lied.” I feel my heart leap at the words but I remind it we’ve been here before.

She’s been pranking me for a whole year, but that night she played her cruelest game. When my anger faded way a new emotion replaced it. An emotion I can’t even imagine telling her about for fear how she’ll react.

“Have you ever put on clothes and still felt naked? Like something was missing and you couldn’t figure out what,” I can’t even look at her as she says, “That’s how I feel whenever I’m doing something and you aren’t there.”

As soon as my eyes move back to her I find her looking at me with the same tender expression she’d been wearing the night she’d confessed.

As we stand there her hand reaches out, touching my cheek. The contact makes my insides shiver and go warm all at the same time.

“I took it back, but I wish I hadn’t. Even if you don’t feel the same way I mean it and I always will. Taylor, I love you.”

She’s made me believe that it hadn’t been real. But this time when she says it I know she means it. And this time I say it back.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, if you like this or one of my other stories and have the ability to, I have my own donation page. Any and all support is much appreciated.
> 
> https://www.buymeacoffee.com/WishaDream


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